I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
