well I can't set my house on fire every night
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Randomize
