There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
