I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize