yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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