No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize