Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
