just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
