Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
