I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
