Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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