The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
