I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
