i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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