3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
if you like me you must not know who I am
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize