You really coming over, don't trick.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
