need another drink. this is the easiest way
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
