you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
