There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
