i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
