How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just found a bag of teeth...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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