He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
