Pants 0. Shit 1.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
