i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
