Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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