I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
