so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Edward fifth and chaser hands
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
