I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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