I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i barfeds in our rink
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
