i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
