when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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