He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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