i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
