Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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