I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
