Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think your dad took our porno
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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