I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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