Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
