Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
