hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
