i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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