I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
