That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
