I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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