Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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