i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
