Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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