I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
