Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
