I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
