Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
