adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
