Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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