Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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