New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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