If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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