i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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