Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize