oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
