Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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